Our primary love relationship can be the source of sleepless nights and deep emotional pain, or a fulfilling source of renewal, play and intimacy. We can feel safe, secure, happy and fulfilled and know how to discuss issues and engage in problem solving in ways that increase the health of our relationship, or we can be run by forces from the past that we hardly know exist and yet they damage the fabric of our relationship such that other areas of our life suffer.
When we have a partner who has our back and with whom it is safe to explore, play and grow, we can feel like venturing out into the world with the power to move mountains or fight dragons.
Making your relationship a safe place for both of you means creating the conditions in the partnership where each partner understands the special inner world that moves their mate to behave in the way they do in a way that fosters love and respect. I will help you turn your relationship from a place of blaming and shaming and tearing down, where anger and retreat are the order of each day, to a place of peace and understanding and even humor.
The styles we learn in our families cause patterns which affect the way we connect in our relationships. There is much clinical research that proves that transforming the way we connect to our partners brings positive interpersonal change that also shifts a struggling relationship into a solid one.
I’ve helped many couples have healthy conversations about the hardest things to discuss, and taught them how to find solutions together instead of endless rounds of arguments. I will help you and your partner learn how to hold each other again, to respect each other’s individual tenderness and to have each other’s backs. I am passionate about bringing couples back into the connection they have lost. Instead of acting as “referee” for your problems, I offer a way of understanding each other that allows all your discussions to be constructive and not that same old fight that happens over and over without changing anything and that slowly locks the doors of your heart.
My training in couples therapy includes the work of Sue Johnson and EFT, John Gottman, Daniel Wile, and Stan Tatkin. I also use my understanding of attachment style, developmental trauma, and family systems to facilitate the work of bringing you together again.
ISSUES I TREAT:
NUMBNESS OR BOREDOM
SHUTTING DOWN, WITHDRAWAL